Meet a Match: Becky & Hailey

 

Becky & Hailey

Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Durham’s very own Mentoring Coordinator, Becky Lawlor, started mentoring Hailey a little over a year ago, in the In-School Mentoring (ISM) Program when Hailey was in grade 4. About 4 months ago, Becky and Hailey have transitioned to the Traditional Mentoring Program, which means that they can see each other outside of school, as well as in the school. Their favourite activities to do together in the school include playing on the playground, playing board games, making up their own games, and playing sports. Outside of the school, they like to go shopping, play mini-putt, and visit with Becky’s 3 dogs.

“Becky is a lot of fun. Since I don’t have any siblings, she’s definitely a role model for me,” says Hailey. Becky’s favourite part of their match is just spending time together and seeing how happy Hailey is whenever they are together. “I look forward to our time together and I’ve found that I’m happier on days when I’m going to see her. Hailey brightens my day.”

When I asked Hailey what she thinks she’s getting out of the program, she says “Becky has really been helping me get along with my peers. She also helps me set goals in school which really help.”

When I asked Becky what she gets out of the relationship, she said “I get to know Hailey on a deep level and I like knowing that we’ve made a lasting connection.” Since it’s obvious that both girls like spending time together, this summer is full of possibilities for their bi-weekly visits.

From a Big Brothers Big Sisters point of view, Hailey said the magic words to me; the words we always like to hear from our mentees: “Becky is amazing. She’s not only a mentor to me, she’s like an older sister.”

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2. 

My Mentor Is....

We asked some of our Littles to finish this sentence...here is what they wrote! 

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2. 

Meet a Match: Mike & Jack

 Mike & Jack

Although on paper the two don’t have much in common, and there’s a significant age gap between the two Brothers, nothing has gotten in the way of Mike and Jack’s steadily growing bond over the past 6 months. Since Mike lives in Port Perry and Jack lives in Beaverton, Mike spends over 1.5 hours each week just going to pick Jack up and bringing him back home—a true testament to how Mike feels about Jack.

Mike says that since there’s not much to do in Beaverton, he often picks Jack up and brings him back to Port Perry, sometimes with his bike so they can ride around the side roads. Or they’ll walk Mike’s dogs, watch a movie with Mike’s family, or play at the park. Mike has also introduced Jack to many firsts over these last 6 months, including an Oshawa Generals game, a Blue Jays game, the Ontario Science Centre and the Toronto Zoo. “Jack loves the zoo,” says Mike. “His mom said he would probably go to the zoo every day if he could.”

 Though Jack has been exposed to a variety of new and different activities lately, Mike says he knows that Jack’s favourite is when they go bowling together. “His smile is from ear to ear the whole time and he gets really excited if he gets a strike or a spare.” When I ask Mike what his favourite activity is, he says, “Watching Jack bowl. He’s just so happy.” 

Over the past months, Mike’s noticed that Jack has warmed up to him a lot more than in the beginning. “He’s a lot happier when he’s with me now. He used to miss his mom soon after we left, but now he doesn’t.” Mike also adds that Jack loves to joke around with him, and he’s not nearly as nervous as he used to be. Although Mike doesn’t think that he himself has changed much since they’ve been matched, he admits acknowledges that he really looks forward to seeing Jack and spending time with him.

Jack has really taken to Mike’s family, too. Mike says that whenever Jack gets into his truck, the first thing he does is look in the backseats to see if any of Mike’s kids have come along for the ride. “He’s part of the family.” Mike and his family recently celebrated Jack’s birthday with a surprise party, complete with cake and gifts! 

Mike says that since they’ve met, he’s learned a lot about Jack and that he hopes with every visit he will learn even more!

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2 or visit our website here. 

Guest Blogger: Laura Kingston

Written by Laura Kingston

I have been matched with Kylie for 19 months and the time certainly has gone by quickly. We spend about 3 to 4 hours together each week. I know she looks forward to our time doing fun things and also getting to know each other better.  I also look forward to spending  time with her, she is easy to get along with and loves to help others. She is eager to help in any way she can and likes to volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters events.

We spend our time at the library, we go swimming, play baseball, go bowling and go to the movies. These events also include walking around town so we get a lot of exercise. Other events include time doing crafts and baking cupcakes. A couple of times a year we do special events - we visited Canada's Wonderland and a live theatre production of Annie in Toronto. (She is looking forward to another Toronto trip!)

I know as the mentor I have a responsibility to help her build skills she needs as she develops and matures.  On her part, she is helping to keep me physically active and mentally alert. Sometimes it's hard to keep up with her energy, but l keep going, she is worth it!   

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2.

Meet a Match: Gill & Cailey

Gill & Cailey

Public Relations Placement Student, Rachel McLean, wrote the following about Big Sister, Gill and Little Sister, Cailey.


In September 2012, through the In-School Mentoring Program at Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Durham (BBBSND), Gill was matched with Cailey, a happy young girl just beginning the seventh grade. Cailey was smart, popular, doing well in school, and not at all the type of child one might consider to be in need of a mentor. But Gill quickly learned that even the happiest of children could always benefit from a little extra attention from a positive role model. She also learned that mentoring can go both ways, and describes Cailey as a great role model herself, always bringing positivity into any situation.

“Her smile lights up a room. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her without a smile. Her positive energy is contagious,” says Gill, who spends as much time as she can with the equally busy Cailey. Both girls are students, Cailey now in Grade 9 and Gill in post-secondary school, meaning their time together is limited. But when they do get time together about once a month, they make the most of it. “We rarely do the same thing. I’ve taught her how to ski and snowboard, we’ve gone mini-putting, to the movies, checked out unique restaurants, and had some girls’ nights.” Cailey says her favourite activity they did together was when they drove race cars at Mosport last year. Her younger brother, Bryce sometimes joins them, “we’re like a trio, the 3 of us,” says Cailey, “she’s actually like my sister.”

Since Cailey and Bryce live with their grandparents, they have both benefited a lot from having Gill around. Having a strong female role model in her life has helped her to continue along the positive path she’s on, which can be difficult for some girls when entering high school for the first time. “I’ve gotten to see her grow as a person,” says Gill, smiling. “When I met her, she was confident, she worked hard in school and she was happy and she has just continued to be on that path. How can you not want to spend time with a person like that?” Cailey agrees that she’s changed a bit as a person adding “since meeting Gill for the first time, I’m more happy and more talkative.” When Cailey was asked if Gill had changed at all since the beginning, Cailey claims “she’s still the same old Gill, but more funny, smarter, and always having fun.”
Gill grew up with an older brother and a twin sister and says that Big Brothers Big Sisters was an obvious choice when she decided how she was going to give back to her community. “I grew up with a really good life and I wanted to make sure I could give something back,” she explains.
“If you want to have a positive influence on someone or bring joy to someone’s life, this is the thing to do. Mentoring is something you can do regularly, so you get to see the influence you have on them and you can see them grow up.”

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2. 

Meet a Match: Dave & Aidan

 Dave & Aidan

In-School Mentor, Dave Stell, wrote this lovely story about his mentoring experience a couple years ago.

Work can be pretty hard. Paying the bills and taking care of lots of different responsibilities can be challenging. But being a Big Brother? That's easy. I became a big brother in 1999 and I've had four little brothers in that time, two at RH Cornish and two at Prince Albert. Jordan, Jeremy, Nic and now Aidan. They've all been very different from each other, but they shared one common trait: they loved to have fun.

I've been lucky to be able to stay in touch with two of them after they went to high school. That's when mentoring ends, at the end of Gr. 8, but the friendship doesn't have to.

It can be weird later on, though. I was talking to a past little brother recently and we agreed to go out for beer and play pool soon. I can't tell you how that felt, the first time I realized he was old enough to go out for beers. But it's a good kind of weird. And we did go for that beer.

As an in-school mentor, I'm there for just one hour each week. The hour always flies by really quickly, every week.

For the most part, it's just fun and easy. Big Brothers is pretty good at finding kids that you will mesh with. Right now my little brother Aidan is a hockey nut - so we play floor hockey about 90 per cent of the time. It's a blast.

Others have liked basketball or dodgeball or any sport we could make up out of our imagination with any of the equipment we could get our hands on. Those are the best games of all. In the nice weather we take our fun outside and play football or baseball in the school yard.

The school is as accommodating as possible and helps us get gym time or library time with computers or space to play board games or cards. I've also heard that other matches watch movies together and make popcorn in the staff lounge.
It's funny, but I got into it thinking it was all about helping a young boy grow up. I worried that it might be a burden, that I would have to teach him discipline and be responsible for him becoming a man. But it's not that at all. It's been something I get a lot out of myself. It's a rewarding feeling to know my little brother looks forward to seeing me every week. In fact - that's one of the most important things I was told - that stuck with me when I first signed up. Show up! That's 90 per cent of the hard work in being a big brother. For kids with single parents, they sometimes get let down by dad or don't get to see him at all. So if you can just show you can be there for him, it makes all the difference in the world.

Now, one myth I have to bust while I'm talking about the experience is the idea some people have that it will be awkward. Talking to young kids is intimidating to some. But despite my best efforts to be a psychiatrist when I started 12 years ago, boys just aren't talkers. I gave up on it a long time ago. Unless they ask you to talk, or they are visibly upset about something, they are OK and just want to spend time doing something with you. Each match has been a positive experience. Teachers tell me they see a change in their personality and their relationships in class. And all I did was show up and play games and be nice to him for an hour a week. How easy is that?! For those of you who have 9-5 jobs like me - you may be concerned that it will be a pain to get time off to do it. But I've worked for five bosses over the past 12 years and they have all been completely supportive of giving me a longer lunch as needed, or to come in an hour late one day a week so I can keep this mentor volunteer opportunity going. I think companies see it as a way to give back to the community, so don't automatically think your employer will balk at the idea. You'll be surprised.

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2.

Meet a Match: Justin and Owen

 

Justin & Owen

Public Relations Placement Student, Rachel McLean, wrote the following about Big Brother, Justin and Little Brother, Owen.

In April of 2012, Justin and Owen were matched by Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Durham in the Traditional Mentoring program. Now, after almost three years, they both say it’s like they really are brothers.

24-year-old Justin says being matched with 12-year-old Owen has really helped them both to grow and mature. “I think the program is incredible. I’ve noticed a huge difference in Owen and even in myself. It’s evident, the purpose that we’re serving as big brothers, which is great. I don’t even really feel like I’m in a program anymore. I just feel like he’s actually my little brother, which is a pretty cool feeling,” says Justin, as Owen smiles and nods along. “It’s amazing,” he chimes in.

Justin says he’s never been responsible for someone so close like a little brother so the match has really helped him to learn a lot about himself as he learned more about Owen, who is now in Grade 7 at Immaculate Conception Catholic Elementary School.

Owen thinks having a big brother is great, and it is easier to stop playing Call of Duty, his favourite video game, when he knows Justin has some fun things planned for the day. “Owen is the only kid in the history of the world who never has homework,” jokes Justin, who tries to make sure they spend as much time as they can doing things outside. Together they do a lot; soccer, baseball, basketball, ping-pong, swimming, paintballing, golfing, and this year they are going on their first camping trip.

Having a big brother is a lot different than having a younger brother, explained Owen, who says he gets along much better with his 9-year-old younger brother since joining the mentoring program. Big brother Justin has taught him to have patience and has helped him to see situations differently with his own little brother, who is also in the traditional program. Owen says the only thing he would change about his match with Justin is that they would spend more time together; their 35-minute distance limits the amount of time they get.

“I’ve always wanted a little brother,” says Justin, who grew up with three older sisters. “I always asked my parents for one for Christmas, and they never gave me one. When I found out there was a huge need for big brothers, it didn’t take much convincing. I jumped right on the chance.”

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2.  

This story was recently featured in the June issue of the Focus on Scugog. Read it here.

Meet a Match: Mallory & Alora

Mallory and Alora

Traditional Big Sister, Mallory, wrote this about her match with Alora.

I met Alora when she was in grade 4. It's hard to believe that was 7 whole years ago. I had decided to become an in-school mentor for Big Brothers Big Sisters of North Durham.  I had no idea what I would end up finding. 

For a year and half, Alora and I would meet every Friday morning at 9:15am for an hour. We would colour, listen to music, play outside and chat about what was going on in her life. As time went on we both looked forward to that solitary hour every Friday morning. 

Near the end of Alora’s 5^th grade year, my boyfriend and I decided to move to Toronto. I realized that I couldn’t continue with the in-school mentor program if I was only to be living over and hour away. I contacted my BBBS rep and explained that I didn’t want to stop being Alora’s mentor, but I didn’t know how I was going to continue if I was moving away. It was suggested to me that I could become a full Big Sister to Alora.

Since then Alora and I have spent over 4 ½ years matched a Big & Little. We have both grown so much in our years together and it’s amazing to think that there is still so much ahead of us.

Alora was one of my bridesmaids and stood beside me as I said, “I do”. She grew up so much during those months of wedding planning. She helped to organize my bridal shower with my mother and step-mom; she bonded with all of the other bridesmaids (all girls my age!) and then danced the night away at my wedding with her best friend and my two brothers.

Although we are both at completely different points in our life we are both able to help the other through the challenging times that come before us. In the end, that is truly what being a sister is all about. 

If you're interested in learning more information about our mentoring programs, please call Cheryl Holmes at 905-985-3733 ext 2.